I See You {A poem to my younger self}

I see you bracing yourself by the door

As life shattered on the floor.

How is this fair?

Gasping for air.

It won’t be like this forever.

I see you lying in bed,

Thoughts racing through your head.

Begging for sleep.

Instead, you just weep.

It won’t be like this forever.

I see you show others you're okay.

Always been your forte.

Easing this heavy blow

For those that you know.

You don't have to be brave forever.

I see them wheeling you--foggy.

Through surgery, but you’re groggy.

Sliced, and then stapled;

Muscles now disabled.

It won’t be like this forever.

I see you overwhelmed by the love.

They're helping you rise above.

Let it in. Soak it up.

Let them fill your empty cup.

You won’t be like this forever.

I see you scared half to death.

But you stand up, take a breath.

Walking in quaky,

Shivering, and shaky.

This won’t last forever.

I see you blinking back tears

While drowning in fears.

Chemo in IV.

Can’t bear to see.

It won’t be like this forever.

I see you thrashing in pain

That is beyond insane.

Hacksaw to the knees;

Writhing to break free.

It won’t feel like this forever.

I see you asleep, medicated.

Alive, but devastated.

Tear-stained cheeks.

How many more weeks?

It won’t be like this forever.

I see you maintaining composure

To deflect your exposure.

Just fall apart,

And open your heart.

You won't feel like this forever.

I see you standing over there.

Big, sad eyes, thinning hair.

Broken and bruised.

So lost and confused.

You won’t be like this forever.

I see you moving your feet;

Swaying to the beat.

Escaped for a night