I See You {A poem to my younger self}

I see you bracing yourself by the door

As life shattered on the floor.

How is this fair?

Gasping for air.

It won’t be like this forever.

I see you lying in bed,

Thoughts racing through your head.

Begging for sleep.

Instead, you just weep.

It won’t be like this forever.

I see you show others you're okay.

Always been your forte.

Easing this heavy blow

For those that you know.

You don't have to be brave forever.

I see them wheeling you--foggy.

Through surgery, but you’re groggy.

Sliced, and then stapled;

Muscles now disabled.

It won’t be like this forever.

I see you overwhelmed by the love.

They're helping you rise above.

Let it in. Soak it up.

Let them fill your empty cup.

You won’t be like this forever.

I see you scared half to death.

But you stand up, take a breath.

Walking in quaky,

Shivering, and shaky.

This won’t last forever.

I see you blinking back tears

While drowning in fears.

Chemo in IV.

Can’t bear to see.

It won’t be like this forever.

I see you thrashing in pain

That is beyond insane.

Hacksaw to the knees;

Writhing to break free.

It won’t feel like this forever.

I see you asleep, medicated.

Alive, but devastated.

Tear-stained cheeks.

How many more weeks?

It won’t be like this forever.

I see you maintaining composure

To deflect your exposure.

Just fall apart,

And open your heart.

You won't feel like this forever.

I see you standing over there.

Big, sad eyes, thinning hair.

Broken and bruised.

So lost and confused.

You won’t be like this forever.

I see you moving your feet;

Swaying to the beat.

Escaped for a night

So your heart could take flight.

You won't have to do this forever.

I see you crumbling

Through this giant rumbling.

What if falling apart

Is the perfect fresh start?

It won’t feel like this forever.

I see you breaking

Through the brave that you’re faking.

Hair falls to the floor.

Heart breaks even more.

It won’t feel this hard forever.

I see you look in the mirror;

Eyes filling with tears.

Puffy and pale,

Yet skinny and frail.

You won’t be like this forever.

I see you doing your best,

Forgetting the rest.

Head down pushing through;

Feeling black and blue.

You won't feel like this forever.

I see you run when it’s done.

A dust trail in the sun.

Get out of here fast.

Leave it all in the past.

You won’t feel like this forever.

I see you holding a shield

Pretending you’ve healed.

Drop the charade.

Stop the masquerade.

You can’t go on like this forever.

I see you all reflective

Pondering, introspective.

The dots must connect.

You’ll find self-respect.

It won’t feel this hard forever.

I see you finding your heart;

Learning to love all your parts.

It can feel so hard

When you feel broken and scarred.

It won’t feel like this forever.

I see you finding your voice.

Speaking up is a choice.

Struggle has departed.

Wisdom now imparted.

You can grow from this forever.

I see you finding resolution.

Your next evolution.

Back to where it all started

Deep breath; open-hearted. You can learn from this forever.