Behind the Scenes of 2020
Well, 2020 has been a year. For everyone.
Some people have even been referring to 2020 as a dumpster fire.
When the pandemic hit, I had these two children’s books (@innercompassbooks ) started in illustrations with two different illustrators around the world, and a memoir ready to go to the editor for a rough first edit.
The strange thing was that everything changed when the pandemic graced us with its presence, but on the work front (for me), nothing affected any of these projects. We all work remotely and communicate through email, so we were not interrupted at all.
I’ve had so many people saying, “Wow, what a year you’ve had releasing three books.”
Yes, it’s been a year. And it might look impressive or productive (or whatever other word you’d like to use) from the outside, but don’t be fooled. It wasn’t all roses.
I won’t pretend that it was easy. There were many late nights and some early mornings. There were also a lot of sleep ins and days where I did nothing but process through it all (especially memoir stuff).
Publishing three books in the midst of the pandemic was a lot to manage and it wasn’t planned. Design of two books at once sucked. My memoir missed its original release date a couple times. It just about didn’t make it out at all. I try to share those behind the scenes, but it isn’t always visible. But behind all of these books was a lot of learning, ebbing and flowing, and growth. Sometimes hard lessons, but always learning to trust myself and my inner knowing more deeply.
As I move forward, I reflect on what felt light and what felt heavy, what wisdom I gained, and where I pushed myself a little too much.
Creation is a balance of structure and imagination, timelines and freedom for creative magic, digging deep and the sacred space to let it unravel, gentle self care and persistence to move forward. It’s a dance and taming my mind has always been the key.
In looking back, there were a few key things that got me through all of this. So, today, I wanted to share with you the tools that helped me make it through when the going got tough.
When I was digging up emotional memories while writing my memoir, MindScape and Bodytalk were my go-to modalities to sift through my triggers and emotions, manage my mind, and more. Connection, support, and asking for help were the other major pieces that helped me through, too. Connection is so important—in 2020 more than ever! My hubby, close friends, and my editor were tremendous supports along the way. (Thank you!)
MindScape is such an important and potent tool in my self-awareness toolbox. It has allowed me to dismantle the limiting beliefs that would have stopped me from writing a book in the first place. “I am not a writer.” “What do I know about writing a memoir? Stay in your lane.” “I have no idea what I’m doing.” There was so much more limiting self-talk, but you get the idea. And that was just at the beginning. You can imagine how intense that negative self-talk got as I waded further into uncharted waters.
Limiting self-talk is something that every single one of us experiences. When we are tuned in, we can catch it instead of letting it run our lives and decisions. Our limiting self talk is rooted in our limiting beliefs. In order to move through our limits, we must be willing to look, then question our BS, and choose another way. There is always another way.
When I was stalled out on my memoir, MindScape allowed me to investigate the underlying blocks and fears that had me hung up. Sometimes what I really needed was gentleness, time to let it all sit, and way more self-care. Other times, the realization to deal with my fear and block was to actually reach out with some old friends to thank them for their support through my experience with cancer. Every time, MindScape helps me tame my ego, find my centre, trust my inner knowing, and tap into my courage.
While I sometimes find it can be hard to really articulate the vast potential and uses of MindScape, these are some of the ways I’ve used it to help me through 2020: for sparking creativity, dismantling mental/emotional/physical roadblocks, gaining insight and understanding into pain/symptoms/problems, growing ideas, healing on all levels, communication, resolving “problems”, making aligned business decisions, parenting, and so much more.
The other modality that was absolutely imperative in helping me manage my mind and unravel my symptoms and resistance was regular BodyTalk sessions. BodyTalk has always played pivotal role in allowing me to gain insight into the limiting beliefs I am functioning from and to release those judgments and emotions from my body. An outside perspective can be so beneficial for healing the subconscious aspects of self. When we bring these beliefs to the surface, it shifts our mind out of black and white thinking and opens up the possibilities. Plus, the body is always talking. It sends us messages to clue us in on how what we are thinking and feeling. When we ignore or hold our emotions and judgments in, the body starts talking to us in symptoms, pain, disorders and diseases. These symptoms are always an invitation to investigate our mental programming. When we get the message, the symptom no longer needs to stick around.